Category Archives: Harry Potter

The Big Blog Set-Up

This coming weekend I will be exposed to one of the more risky aspects of dating… The Terrifying Set-Up.

Okay, really I am not terrified at all. I already know where we will be going (karaoke – score!), what I will be wearing (casual black tank, dark-wash skinny jeans – laid back and hot, if I do say so myself… which incidentally I do… obviously) and how I will be feeling (impossible you say? maybe, but I do tend to rise to the challenge of a good first-impression!)

I do not, however, know very much about The Guy. Except for, you know, the really important things… like

– He’s Italian (hot)

– He has a job (though I can’t remember what it is, which probably means it sounded boring)

-And last, but certainly not least, he looks like Justin Long (YES)

Now, under any normal circumstances, I would most likely recoil at the thought of being set-up with some working-stiff-office-type-who-I-know-very-little-about, but this time is a bit different (although honestly, I’m not getting my hopes up… really, I swear!)

I am more than willing to at least meet this guy for a few reasons (other than the fact that he is rumored to look like my favorite stand-in for Mac computers),  one of them being that I might actually have had a bit of a mental growth-spurt over the last couple weeks (no, seriously… that wasn’t a joke!) Also, the fact that I have been harboring “feelings” for someone I have never met before (the Blog-Crush) has led me to reason that perhaps I should start getting out of the house more often.

I have been set-up on only a couple of occasions in the past, and neither of these went off very spectacularly to say the least.

The first time was by my mom’s friend (and she swears this wasn’t a set-up), when she introduced me to a cute British boy who was staying in the area for the summer (although at this point the summer was almost over… shotty execution in my opinion). We were introduced in a movie theater, right before a showing of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (mom’s friend had an extra ticket, plus it’s possible I am obsessed… just possible I said, don’t give me that look!)

Luckily, watching said movie called for silence, because I seriously doubt we would’ve had anything to talk about. (This theory, incidentally, was pretty much proven correct once we were out of the theater, waiting for the rest of the group to get out of the bathrooms, and found ourselves with almost nothing to say.)

Still, he seemed impressed with me (I have a killer walk) and he later asked my mom’s friend if he could have my e-mail address. I gave it to her to give to him (LAME) but he never used it (Lamer). And to be honest, it wasn’t much of a loss when he didn’t. Sure he was cute, sure he was British (and yes, the accent was good), but he still somehow just wasn’t my type. He was… a boy. (As in, very young in demeanor) And, as far as I could tell, not much with the jokes. ‘Nuff said… right? (For what it’s worth, I know first impresions are hard! No judgment, I swear.)

Fast forward to this past December (I think) and the same friend tries to set me up with another guy. Only this time it’s different… this time:

a) She fully admits that it’s a set-up (actually tells me, “Now before you do that Amber thing and roll your eyes and give me that lookat which point I’m thinking, “Shit, people can tell when I do that?”)

b) She’s not the only one trying to fix me up with this guy (unbeknownst to me, it’s actually a whole clique of women who think this would be a good idea. Probably because they are all married, and imagine that their younger, single selves would want to date this person.)

So I meet him. I think, why the hell not? It’s not as if I’m obligated or anything… And actually, it’s not as if I even have to meet him in any date-type-situation, because when we’re introduced, it’s at an event full of people… which is pretty fortunate, because…

I don’t like him. Almost immediately after shaking hands and exchanging names, I can tell I don’t like him. But, for a moment, I’m not sure why. There is a bit of  suspense, and then he says it…

“So, do you go to any fellowship groups?”

“Umm… no, not really.” I say, casually, trying not to laugh, etc.

“Why not?” he asks me, very earnestly, and then proceeds to invite me to his fellowship group, which meets every week and blah-blah-blah. I’m no longer listening, just wondering when exactly is too soon to leave this kind of conversation gracefully. Luckily, his sales-pitch hits a lull, and I excuse myself to go do some fake, nondescript thing that I can no longer remember. A few minutes later, my mom’s friend eyes me from across the room and cocks her head as if to say “what happened?” I shake my head in a just-violent-enough manner to let her know that I am not having it, and that my decision is non-negotiable. She pouts, and I move on.

(To be frank, I don’t have anything against the religious set per-se. I used to be religious. And it’s all good… that is, until you look at me like a project or use the word “fellowship” to describe something other than Tolkein’s work of fiction, or the film that followed.)

I am hopeful that this set-up will not be like either of the two that proceeded it, and especially not like the latter one, but I remain realistically skeptical. I am intrigued, but not necessarily excited. (I remain un-excited on purpose because I find that I am nicer to people when they haven’t just crushed my hopes into oblivion.)

To cap off, I would just like to say that I have recently become aware of my snobbish tendencies (and am currently wondering if it has anything to do with my “wait until you meet the exact right person” upbringing), as well as my relative inability to give anyone a second chance (unless, of course, I have already decided that I like them.) So going into this, I am making a wildly revolutionary idea to be more… you guessed it… open minded!

If nothing else, I will meet someone new… and if that falls flat, at least there will be karaoke!

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Filed under Happiness, Harry Potter, Horrifying everyday stuff, The Blog Crush

The Big One: In Which Twilight Makes Me Famous

This weekend was the release of the epic Twilight DVD.

As a fan of said movie, it was thus my time to come out of the shadows and join with the crazies as we revelled in all our collective fandemonium (see words fan and pandemonium). We convened at a local Borders, a wild luster of anticipation and excitement in our eyes, as we waited for that pivitol moment when the clock would strike twelve and our craziness would be rewarded.

My favorite part of the whole evening was not, however, finally claiming my copy of the DVD, as I had already pre-ordered mine online (it still hasn’t come … Silly Rabbit). Instead, the night reached its ultimate climax when my answer for “favorite movie moment” was pulled out of a hat (was it a hat? I really don’t know.) Sensing a prime opportunity for subversive behavior, I had written down my actual favorite moment in a way that would undoubtedly make me sound like a total bitch, or like someone who didn’t really like the movie at all…

Unfolding the little piece of paper, None-too-impressed employee #1 began to read the 9th answer out of what had been mostly sappy, obvious responses. Me and my friend Alana (who had also won for an answer with some actual originality) were crossing our fingers. It was going to be too sad if mine wasn’t picked. It just had to happen.

“This person’s favorite movie moment…” she began, with feigned interrest, “was… when Bella was dying.” She deliverd the line nice and slowly, a true professional with a flair for the dramatic pause, and laughed. Smiling to myself at the sheer comedic genious that is me, I made my way up to the front of the crowd as girls cheered, laughed, and one woman said something like, “That’s terrible!” in a very dissaproving tone. Once there, None-too-impressed (until now) employees #1 and 2 smiled appreciatively and handed me my prize. A dinky picture of Emmit in his backwards baseball cap. Lame. But what did I care? Clearly, the real prize here was the glory.

Later, as I perused the Writing Supplies section and waited for Alana to purchase her DVD, a girl of about 12 came up to me, said “I liked your favorite moment!” and ran away. Satisfied in having passed on my morbid sense of irony to an impressionable youth, the night was thus complete.

However, that was two days ago (okay, technically one day since it was a midnight release party) and my DVD still isn’t here.

 Note to shipping companies: when I pre-order something that is said to come out on a specific date, I mean business… let’s not tempt my sanity into deteriorating anymore, shall we? We both know it’s not the end of the world… but come on, if you had done this to the Harry Potter people, they would have had your ass on a plate. Just sayin’.

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Filed under Fandemonium, Harry Potter, Twilight