Counterpart

I feel I should explain something, in regards to the last post…

It is not as if the reason for my zero-experience status has been completely involuntary. The fact of the matter is that I have had options, but they’ve honestly just been that little bit unattractive.

Should I have, for instance, kissed the boy in Jr High who wanted to take me out, but who I had absolutely no interest in? Or maybe the girl who held my hand at camp, who it didn’t even occur to me to be attracted to? Should I have made out with the boy in the attic, at church, who had already kissed almost every girl who’d ever gone there, and who failed to share my attachment to him? Should I have had sex with Evie, knowing she liked me, and knowing at the same time that my attraction was purely physical? Should I have done the exact opposite of that, and fooled around with someone I really liked, who would never really like me back?

All of these options have presented themselves, but never in a way that made them really tempting. I have had the chance at experiences. The only problem is, as far as I can tell, they would all have been bad ones. At least, that’s the way I felt about them at the time. And even from here, when some time has passed, I’m not entirely sure I was wrong.

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3 Comments

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3 responses to “Counterpart

  1. No, you shouldn’t kiss a boy you don’t like or sleep with a girl you don’t like. You should always wait for it be special – even if waiting is really hard!

    The right person won’t care at all whether you have experiences, they’ll just want to have new experiences with you.

  2. sometimes doing something seems more tempting than doing nothing but think you did the right thing.

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