Ladies and gentlemen, transgenders and hermaphrodites, I’m afraid I have something rather shocking to tell you: I am a terribly moody person. I know, I know, you are all horrified beyond belief! But it is the truth and you may as well know it.
In some circles, I am actually considered to be pretty even keel. Because, you know, I don’t throw tantrums and I try not to overwhelm other people with my problems. Even my friends have to spend a considerable amount of time with me before I am ready to tell them what is really going on. And it is pretty much mandatory that I do so in a place that is familiar to me and has a table (such as my dining room or a certain shitty little cafe.) I need drawing out. But the telling of secrets and fears is by no means of diminished importance to me, even though I do so sporadically at best. If I don’t say what is wrong, it just keeps swimming around in my head, becoming ever more dark and complex, breeding in the unseen corners of my mind. Which is why, if you haven’t noticed, I tend to complain to you a lot. So much so that one of you has taken to calling me “emo” on a semi-regular basis. Which I don’t exactly appreciate BY THE WAY.
The thing is, If you only read this blog, and don’t have the incredible pleasure of actually knowing me in person, you may start to think that complaining is all I ever really do… which is not true… I don’t think. Anyway, the point of this is that I feel it is time to tell all you lovely readers (even the lurkers, who I may have somewhat shamed the other day) what in my life is going right.
So here goes…
1. I FUCKING PASSED THE FUCKING CLASS!!!
Remember that Cosmetology Pre-Req I told you all about? The one that had me getting up at 5am every day, causing me to lose sleep, skip meals, and have about the worst case of ongoing nervous stomach syndrome (if that’s even a real thing) in the history of mankind? Well, I PASSED IT! Not only that, but I got into the upcoming Nail Tech class along with those who I consider to be some of the most relatable and well-rounded people in my class. Meaning I can train for a job that’s not in retail and I can do so with people I actually really like. Score. (And I really do mean that.)
2. I managed to turn a semi-real friendship into a real-real friendship by… you guessed it… opening up about my problems. On Tuesday, right after I was informed that my humiliating confessions about The Coworker had actually been read by The Coworker, my friend Bart took me to a neighborhood cafe (that for some reason or another is my favorite place to vent) and let me go on and on about how frustrating the whole thing was to me. And by “let me go on and on”, I really mean that he listened, asked questions, and helped me see the bright side of things. Which helped. A LOT. Being able to talk to an actual person, one who isn’t going to judge or tell me to do things differently, is of incredible importance and, since it is a real person and not a phone or computer screen, actually enables me to laugh and make jokes about the situation, rather than just brooding in my discontent. (Anyone else feel that that was just about the longest sentence of the year? Oh well, Fuck it. It is only January 9th, after all.)
3. I have left physical insecurity far behind and have instead become downright cocky. Apparently flirting helps, because I don’t even mind telling you that I walk around like I’m the shit lately.
4. The New Coworker is, I kid you not, the best thing since sliced bread. It naturally took me a little while to get to know him enough to see if he was “cool”, but once I did we just hit it off really well. I can be completely myself around him and I always have fun when we work together. Even though it is work, and generally blows. You know, because it is work. Anyway, the point is that I’m glad he’s around. And will be reading this blog SOON. (Sorry Coworker number 1, but it had to be done, my friend.) To avoid confusion, The New Coworker is Matt and Coworker number 1 is… well, you know who you are.
So there you go, Some things really do go right for me. I’m sure there are others, but I’m very tired now and would like to start my day of absolutely-no-exertion early. So goodnight everyone. Or good morning. Or good whatever time of day it is when you read this. Basically, just “good”.